Anxiety Sets In

My time in the hospital after the accident was surreal. It felt a little like an out of body experience. It was very hard for me to process everything that had happened. I was, I guess worried, that there was something that people didn’t want to tell me. I was worried that, maybe I had died and was in some kind of limbo or that I was in a coma and my interactions with people were all in my head. It’s hard to wrap your head around the idea that you have been hit by a bus. For about six months after the accident I would be sitting around and just think “I can’t believe that I was hit by a bus!” It took a long time for it to really sink in what had happened and where my life was now heading.

Anxiety Gets Kicked Up A Notch

After I was discharged home to my parent’s house, the anxiety really started to set in. I was anxious all. the. time. My poor parents. Not only was I physically weak and dependent on them but I was also emotionally dependent on them. I was lucky to have such an amazing support system to help me through this time. It wasn’t easy. I would react to every little noise I heard. “What’s that???” At night time, I was constantly asking my mom if she was sure she had locked up and maybe she should go and check to be sure? With the head injury and the swelling, my memory was TERRIBLE so I was constantly asking the same questions every few minutes because I could not remember if I had already asked it and if it had been answered. Meaning that my mom would have to go down and check that the door was locked a few times every night until I had finally fallen asleep.

As I mentioned, I had a great support system in place with my family and friends, but I was also fortunate to have worked in the field that I was in. I was working as a Child and Youth Worker (CYW) with children and adolescents with mental health and behavioural issues as well as children with special needs such as those on the Autism spectrum. I have my undergraduate degree in Psychology in addition to my CYW diploma so I understand the importance of seeking help for your issues. I am also trained in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and in ABA for my work as a Behaviour Therapist. This training was very useful to me during this time. When you have anxiety, anxious thought will often pop up into your head. These are often referred to as “popcorn thoughts” because of the way they just pop into your head out of nowhere. Popcorn thoughts can also happen with depression. My popcorn thoughts were always associated with something happening to me or to someone I cared about. If my mom had gone to the store and was gone longer then I expected the popcorn thought “something must have happened!” or “she’s been in an accident” would pop into my head. I was able to recognize that these were just “thoughts” but thoughts still have a lot of power over us and our emotions.

My anxiety lessened as I got stronger but it didn’t go away. I knew that I needed to get some help outside of my support system so I started seeing a Social Worker. I started seeing her a couple of months after the accident and continued seeing a social worker regularly until a few months ago. This was something that I did, for me, that I found to be really helpful. I’m sharing this part of my story because this month is #BellLetsTalk campaign to reduce the stigma of mental health. Talking about mental health issues is a great way to break down the barriers that are associated with mental illness. I needed help with my anxiety, my anger and my depression that I experienced as a result of my accident, injuries and complications that I experienced. I’ve been very open with my family and friends about my struggles with mental illness and now I am sharing them with you. My social worker was the first person to introduce the concept of mindfulness based stress reduction to me and as I have mentioned before, it has really helped me with my anxiety. My faith is also something that has helped me on my journey. I have come to understand that God has a plan for me, that I might not know what it is right now, but that one day it will all make sense.

Thanks for reading,

Charlene xoxo