Welcome back from the weekend!! Doesn’t it seem like it was just Friday?? Sometimes I feel like I blink and it’s already Monday again.
Last week I was in Rhinebeck, NY for a Mindfulness retreat and I had a great time!! There were a few lectures given by some of the top people in the Mindfulness field so it was great to get to hear them speak. Of course it wouldn’t be a mindfulness retreat without a lot of meditating and some silence. This time it was only 36 hours so it wasn’t too bad. I am heading out again next week for a 7 day silent retreat as part of my training. Exciting times ahead!!
Letting go of what you cannot change
During my retreat, as I mentioned we did a lot of meditating. I never thought that I would be the kind of person who enjoyed meditating. Heck, I never thought I would meditate for hours at a time. Of course when I get home I don’t meditate for more then 30-60 minutes at a time.
What I like about mindfulness and meditating is that they help me to focus on what really matters. Lately, I have been really caught up in worry about setting up my practicum for September and waiting to hear back about my application for the last phase of my mindfulness training. My mind has definitely been preoccupied. Waiting to hear back is so difficult!! I felt like time was moving SO slowly.
During the first several days of the retreat this preoccupation really affected my meditating. Some of the people I went to the practicum had heard back about the training so my lack of response was especially worrying. I kept checking my phone over and over again during the retreat to see if there was any word.
Then, when we were in silence I decided it was time to let it go. I had sent an email to the institution in an effort to find out why there had not been a response either way. There was nothing else that I could do at this point. Whatever the results of my application would be, there was nothing that I could do to change them.
Letting go of what you cannot change doesn’t mean that you are giving up. It means that you accept that at some point that the decisions are out of your hands.
During the period of silence, as I was meditating, my mind kept going back over wondering if I was going to be accepted to this training. I had mentally made several plans for myself all of which had included attending the training. What was I going to do if I didn’t get in?
Then I realized that whatever the results would be I would manage. If I didn’t complete the training according to the timeline in my head all that meant was that my plans would have to be adjusted. I know that I am meant to become trained as a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) teacher. So whether that happens this August or it happens at a later date I know that it will happen for me.
Letting go of what you cannot change, for me, led to such a feeling of peace and happiness that stayed with me for the rest of the day. For me it meant that I could focus on what was happening right then and be in the moment. I knew that eventually I would hear back and when I did I could finalize or adjust my plans.
The funny thing is that shortly after I decided to let go, and felt at peace, I got the answer that I was waiting for – I was accepted to the Teacher Development Intensive the last stage of my mindfulness training! This experience showed me what can happen when we let go and trust that what comes our way is what is for the best.